Stop Being a Butthole Husband


This morning I came across a great post from Debbie Wilkins Baisden called Stop Being a Butthole Wife. As I read it, I felt it necessary to respond, please make sure you read her original post.


One of the things I love, is when we allow ourselves to be transparent with each other.  There is great power in transparency.  I also love that out of the place of transparency, having the courage to call others out of the same struggle we find ourselves in.  Oh the joy of helping others into freedom!

I am the first one to admit it.  I am a Butthole Husband.

Not, I “can be” a Butthole Husband.

BUT I AM A BUTTHOLE HUSBAND.

A few days ago I posted a blog titled: Moment of Transparency already addressing some of my shortcomings in marriage, specifically around this verse:

19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. – Col 3:19 NLT 

Something that Debbie talks about is laundry and the failure of so many husbands to not putting dirty laundry into the clothes hamper…I could not tell you how many times my wife has asked me to put my dirty clothes into the laundry basket…in our short 4 1/2 years of marriage…thousands of times I am sure!

It could be really easy to read Debbie’s post and think, “I am just helping remind my wife that I am a Gift from God!”  BUT, our attitude should be that of Love, Service, and Sacrifice.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. – Eph 5:25-28 NLT

My wife has one of the hardest God fearing jobs on the earth…a stay at home mom.

(I do a horrible job of telling her this is what I believe to be true, and how much I appreciate what she does)

Seriously, husbands how hard would it be to take a few extra seconds to put our dirty clothes in the hamper?  How hard would it be for us to unload and load the dishwasher?  How hard would it be to ask our wives how we can help?

(Here is the kicker.  We have to follow through!)

I am preaching to the choir here…I am horrible at loving my wife well in so many areas!  I need Jesus to open my eyes and heart.  I need Jesus to break through my thick headedness and get this reality to stick!

We as husbands owe it to our wives, and to our God, to LOVE them unconditionally.  We owe it to them to give ourselves sacrificially in service to them.

Our highest calling is to be Husbands and Fathers.  Let us repent to our God and to our Family for sinning against them by not making them a priority and not loving them well.

 

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  One thought on “Stop Being a Butthole Husband

  1. February 13, 2017 at 6:20 am

    Seriously, apologize for yourself. SHE was right. Hating on people for SMALL things is wrong. In my life, if picking up some laundry is the worst part of my day, then I have had a great day. I would give most anything to only have to sweat some small things, and make no mistake the things she/you have listed are SMALL. There are lots of people out here like me who are dealing with autistic children, birth defects, poor health, finances, and butthole spouses every day. I do think she could have called the butthole SPOUSE instead of just wife though. If your spouse is meeting the majority of your needs and you aren’t treating them like gold, then you are an ingrate and well, a butthole. Simply put, quit expecting people to be perfect, each of us has hangups and just because mine is different from my spouse’s doesn’t mean mine are “worse”. If perfection is what a spouse requires to maintain peace in a household, then there will only be strife. You want to really do something for wife, offer her unconditional love at all times and be faithful to forgive her short comings.

    • February 13, 2017 at 6:40 am

      Jamie,

      I understand that there is no cookie cutter application. My heart was to call Husbands into a higher place of loving their wives and to above all excel in being mindful and kind, thinking about them and how our actions affect our wives.

      I do not call for perfection, but rather grace, love, and service.

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